Evolution

Exactly one year ago I found out I was pregnant. Throughout the whole month of October it's been on my mind. Since then, and even before I was pregnant, I had an idea of what kind of mom I would be. And let me tell you, that picture was a million times different than the reality today and I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel like I am evolving each and every day. I feel like motherhood has made me a better person (although I know I will have my moments as all moms do where the opposite is true). I wanted to make sure I record some of the ways I have evolved and things I have come to feel very strongly about as a new mom. By writing my thoughts down, please know I am not preaching nor am I looking down on anyone who does things differently. Being a parent is hard and everyone has to find their own way.

Birth



This is a sign up at an OB office in Provo. It makes me sad. I'm not going to tell anyone that they have to give birth naturally, but it IS the way women all over the world did it until MEN stepped in and made women feel as if they couldn't do it. When I got pregnant, I somewhat entertained the idea of natural childbirth. My awesome friend Kimberly really kept talking about it with me, and I have to admit that the first time I told her "I'll think about it," it was just to appease her. I didn't really think I could or would do it. However, I did some research and came to the conclusion to really try. It just made sense. I mean, they tell you your whole pregnancy to avoid drugs, and then they want you to take drugs as your child enters the world. A little screwy if you ask me. I recommend seeing a midwife unless you have complications (which is what the rest of the world does, and they have better rates). I also recommend watching The Business of Being Born, and reading The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth as well as Born in the USA.

Breastfeeding



"A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three." ~Grantly Dick-Read

I felt strongly about breastfeeding while I was pregnant. My baby was not going to have a drop of formula. As many of you know, that is not quite how things went. Brayden had formula in the hospital for various reasons, many of which I now question. And then when we came home, I caved and gave him formula until my milk came in. I was worried the nurse who told me he was so big I might not produce enough milk for him and I might have to supplement could be right. I don't remember her name or even what she looked like, but I wish I could show Brayden to her now and ask her if she still feels that way. Don't get me wrong, I am glad formula exists. There are women who have real troubles with breastfeeding, and babies that can't learn the proper sucking techniques for breastfeeding. However, I think it's terrible how little our society in the U.S. supports breastfeeding. In fact, in some ways our culture seems anti-breastfeeding to me. Women are looked down upon for nursing in public. If you breastfeed past the age of one here in America, you are looked at as odd, even though the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until the age of two. I think our society has forgotten that breastfeeding is the natural thing to do. We are so used to bottles now. All baby dolls come with bottles. Formula samples are given out in the hospitals. There's all this talk about how bottles allow the dad and other family members to be involved. That may be true, but breastfeeding is still best and there are other ways to be involved.

There are articles and books that speak of the benefits for the mom and baby. I think these articles and doctors word it wrong. Instead of talking about the benefits of breastfeeding, they should speak of the risks of not breastfeeding. They won't though, because they don't want to offend women who have chosen not to breastfeed. I know it is politically correct to not offend anymore, and I try not to on my blog, but I feel very strongly about this. I think every woman should try exclusively breastfeed for at least a month. Why a month? Because the first month can be SO hard as you and your baby are learning to do this together. It can hurt, you feel like feeding is all you do, etc, etc. After a month, it usually gets better. It starts being the most beautiful and peaceful part of your day. I recommend demanding to see a lactation specialist in the hospital if you need help (I kept asking, and never got to meet with one), and reading The Nursing Mother's Companion and this article.

Attachment Parenting



My friend Kimberly had mentioned the name Dr. Sears to me before, so I decided to check out a couple of his books from the library. One of the books was The Attachment Parenting Book. Attachment parenting is the parenting model I have chosen to follow. It just makes sense to me. If you don't read the book, at least look at this overview on Dr. Sears' website. We co-sleep a good portion of the time, and it works for us. I especially like his 5th and 6th B's. I don't believe a baby knows how to manipulate, at least not so far at Brayden's age. I believe a baby's cry means something and that I need to respond and help. Part of the co-sleeping is that I don't believe in the cry-it-out method. I don't think you are successful in the right way using that method. Yes, your baby is asleep, but it's because he/she has given up.

What else?

Let's see... I never in a million years thought I would use cloth diapers. This article is a pretty good overview on why I switched. Although my main 3 reasons were: to save money, because I think it's better for the environment (it takes 500 years for each disposable diaper to decompose), and because I think they are cute. :)

I also never thought (before I got pregnant) that I would question the medical establishment. I like to think I did so during my birth just be having a natural birth (but failed afterwards in regards to breastfeeding and a couple other things I wish I wouldn't have allowed to happen). Sometimes I still fail at this. For example, at Brayden's 2 month visit, I got the seasonal flu vaccine just because Brayden couldn't until 6 months and his doctor thought that he could get some protection through my breast milk if I got it. A week or so ago, I was doing some research and trying to decide what to do about the H1N1 shot. In my research, I found out that neither vaccine has ever been safety-tested specifically on pregnant or nursing women. I'm currently reading The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears' son. I will most likely continue to have Brayden get these shots, but I may delay a few of them and at least want to be informed and not blindly following my doctor's lead.

Okay, all of this was pretty serious so....

I had no idea a year ago:

how much babies spit-up

and how much laundry moms have to do

and how much my parents must love me

and most importantly, how I feel like my heart might just burst each and every day with the love I feel for him.