2010 Resolutions

I know it has become uncool to make resolutions, because most people realize that in all likelihood they will be broken. However, I believe that to not try at all is worse than trying but failing. With that in mind, here is what I hope to accomplish this year.

1- Read this list of books by the year's end. Some books are on the list because of recommendations, ten are books I want to re-read, and many are on the list because I almost feel unworthy as an English Literature graduate because I have not read them.

1-9 Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder
10- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
11- The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
12-Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
13- 1984 by George Orwell
14- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
15- These Is My Words by Nancy Turner
16- The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
17- The Alchemist by Paul Coelho
18- The Princess Bride by William Goldman
19- The Road by Cormac McCarthy
20- Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
21- A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
22- Possession by A.S. Byatt
23-26 The Hobbit/ The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
27- The Color Purple by Alice Walker
28- Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
29- Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
30- For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
31- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
32- The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
33- The Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha edited by E.A. Burtt
34- Bhagavad-Gita
35- A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
36- Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
37- Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
38- We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
39- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenace by Robert M. Pirsig
40- Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

And the last ten are books I want to re-read:
41- Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
42- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
43- The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
44- Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
45- A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
46- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
47- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
48- Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl
49- The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
50- Animal Farm by George Orwell

2- Strive for physical health. I know this will be a day by day challenge. Some days I will fail miserably, I'm sure. But I know I need to try. If I lose weight, great. It's not just about that, though. I need to be more mindful of what I put into my body as a breastfeeding mother. I need to create better eating and activity habits so I am a better example for Brayden. This has been on my mind lately since we start him on "baby foods" tomorrow (which will have its own post with pictures I am sure). I need to follow the rule of sleeping when Brayden sleeps better, at least while his sleep is still so inconsistent (read: crappy). I joined a Healthy Lifestyles program through my work. My goal is to get the top amount of points available each month (and it isn't even hard so I should be able to do it). All I have to do is exercise 12 days of the month for a half hour amd eating 15 servings a week of fruits and vegetables.

3- Create something different each week. This includes, sewing and any other craft but recipes as well. I have so many crafty ideas and recipes stored in my favorites that I need to start doing something about it.

2009

And so winds down the best year of my life. Seriously, it will be hard to top. 2009 is the year I became a college graduate, a homeowner, and a mother (and all within 2 months of each other). This is the year I proved how strong I am and how much I could give of myself for someone else. I could keep going, but I think you all get the point. This was an awesome year.

I don't know why, but for some reason Adam and I have more original (you know, not from our families of origin) traditions linked to New Year's than any other holiday. We may have missed a year or so on them, but for the most part we: have chinese food, drink sparkling cider at midnight, and I make a year in review book. I think I'm adding one this year: to watch Up. I watched it tonight with my parents and Jackson (Adam's at work for another hour) and I was so inspired with its message and it being New Year's Eve. One of the things I do in my year in review book is my favorite books and movies of the year. So without further ado,

Books- I gave 9 books (out of the 104 I read this year) 5 stars. These books are:

The Hunger Games (and its sequel Catching Fire) by Suzanne Collins
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer
Why We Can't Wait by Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
Little Brother by Cory Doctorow

Movies

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Up
The Hangover
I Love You, Man
The Proposal
Sunshine Cleaning

And I'm pretty sure these would have made the list had I gotten around to seeing them: Where the Wild Things Are, Sherlock Holmes, Whip It, Precious, and Star Trek.

Week of Thanksgiving, Day Seven

Brayden... I cannot say enough about how thankful I am for him.

-Being his mom has given my life a purpose.
-His presence bonds Adam and I even more.
-He has taught me to be more patient (although I need that lesson repeatedly).
-His presence has taught me how strong I am (childbirth, sleep deprivation, etc).
-His smile every morning as he sees me helps me get through the day.
-Being a part of him learning and growing has been the most rewarding experience of my life.

Week of Thanksgiving, Day Six

I'm grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life. I'm especially thankful for my family- my parents, my siblings and their families, Adam, and a certain little someone who shall be discussed further. I'm grateful for Adam's family, and for all of my wonderful friends.

Week of Thanksgiving, Day Five

I'm gonna be totally superficial today- I am thankful for awesome tv shows like Glee (and its wonderful soundtrack I am listening to right now), The Office, and Modern Family. Makes up for the loss of other shows I loved like Friends, Arrested Development, Pushing Daisies and Veronica Mars.

Week of Thanksgiving, Day Four

Today will be even more brief than my other posts. I am grateful for sleep and I now intend to go and get some.

Week of Thanksgiving, Day Three

I am grateful for books. This quote sums up my feelings on literature:

"In a very real sense, people who have read good literature have lived more than people who cannot or will not read. It is not true that we have only one life to lead; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish."
-S.I. Hayakawa

Week of Thanksgiving, Day Two

Reality check time: After complaining the majority of the day about not having power, I need to change my attitude. Therefore,

I am grateful for my home. It may be small, but it is ours and will always hold a dear place in my heart as Brayden's first home. I'm grateful for modern technology... especially electricity. My biggest reason to be grateful for electricity currently is that I wouldn't be able to be an exclusively breastfeeding mom without it, since I work part-time. I'm grateful for all of the appliances that make our lives so much easier. Although I know it is possible to live without them, I'm glad we don't have to.

Week of Thanksgiving, Day One

Thanksgiving is a week away and I want to make sure that I spend some time thinking about what I am grateful for.

I am grateful for the amazement that is the human body. And even with all my body issues, I am thankful for my body specifically. It's been through a lot in the last year. I'm amazed at a woman's power to create life within her body, give birth, and continue to sustain life afterwards if she so chooses, and I'm so glad I've had the chance to experience all of that... even if it left me with stretch marks.

Book Review: NutureShock

One of my favorite nonfiction writers is Po Bronson. In fact, two of his books (What Should I Do With My Life? and Why Do I Love These People?) both had a profound effect on me as I read them. When I saw that he had a new book out about the science of parenting the very summer I became a parent, I knew I wanted to read it. This book is about modern parenting and how we might have some things very wrong.

Praise- Parents want to praise their children, of course. And they are likely to praise them for being smart. That, it turns out, can have some negative effects. Kids who are told they are smart so fear losing that label that they are hesitant to tackle subjects they don't feel as comfortable in. On the other hand, kids are who praised for their effort in a test or subject will work that much harder to grasp new subjects.
Sleep- Many current experts blame television for the recent spikes in obesity levels and ADD/ADHD diagnosis. Science is showing that a loss in sleep might be a more determinant factor. Kids now get about an hour less sleep than they used to. The science has shown that kids need that sleep. Obesity levels would go down, grades would go up, etc.
Racism- Most parents are of the opinion that you shouldn't draw attention to racial differences. However, studies show that racial differences are obvious to children as young as 6 months of age. Children categorize everything, it's just what they do. So if you don't talk about race, they are going to categorize anyways. Most parents avoid the topic of race until third grade, but the science is now showing that there is a good window of opportunity around first grade to have your children understand and accept these differences more readily.

The rest of the book is great too. There's a chapter on the absurdity of defining kids as gifted in kindergarten (thereby closing that door to late bloomers, of whom there are many). There's a chapter on siblings and how younger siblings are not necessarily better socialized as we used to think because they learn poor social skills from their elder siblings just as much as good social skills.

The writing makes scientific and technical information easy to grasp. And even if you don't agree with all of it as it regards to parenting, at least it got me thinking about the whys of parenting more.

Growing Up

Adam and I have been joking about me finally growing up this week. Want to know why? It's actually kind of sad and true. I finally tried 3 TOTALLY common foods this week that I have always said I didn't like but that I had really never given a chance- beans (refried beans, chili), tuna fish, and diced tomatoes (in tacos). Seriously, you can laugh at me now.

Evolution

Exactly one year ago I found out I was pregnant. Throughout the whole month of October it's been on my mind. Since then, and even before I was pregnant, I had an idea of what kind of mom I would be. And let me tell you, that picture was a million times different than the reality today and I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel like I am evolving each and every day. I feel like motherhood has made me a better person (although I know I will have my moments as all moms do where the opposite is true). I wanted to make sure I record some of the ways I have evolved and things I have come to feel very strongly about as a new mom. By writing my thoughts down, please know I am not preaching nor am I looking down on anyone who does things differently. Being a parent is hard and everyone has to find their own way.

Birth



This is a sign up at an OB office in Provo. It makes me sad. I'm not going to tell anyone that they have to give birth naturally, but it IS the way women all over the world did it until MEN stepped in and made women feel as if they couldn't do it. When I got pregnant, I somewhat entertained the idea of natural childbirth. My awesome friend Kimberly really kept talking about it with me, and I have to admit that the first time I told her "I'll think about it," it was just to appease her. I didn't really think I could or would do it. However, I did some research and came to the conclusion to really try. It just made sense. I mean, they tell you your whole pregnancy to avoid drugs, and then they want you to take drugs as your child enters the world. A little screwy if you ask me. I recommend seeing a midwife unless you have complications (which is what the rest of the world does, and they have better rates). I also recommend watching The Business of Being Born, and reading The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth as well as Born in the USA.

Breastfeeding



"A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three." ~Grantly Dick-Read

I felt strongly about breastfeeding while I was pregnant. My baby was not going to have a drop of formula. As many of you know, that is not quite how things went. Brayden had formula in the hospital for various reasons, many of which I now question. And then when we came home, I caved and gave him formula until my milk came in. I was worried the nurse who told me he was so big I might not produce enough milk for him and I might have to supplement could be right. I don't remember her name or even what she looked like, but I wish I could show Brayden to her now and ask her if she still feels that way. Don't get me wrong, I am glad formula exists. There are women who have real troubles with breastfeeding, and babies that can't learn the proper sucking techniques for breastfeeding. However, I think it's terrible how little our society in the U.S. supports breastfeeding. In fact, in some ways our culture seems anti-breastfeeding to me. Women are looked down upon for nursing in public. If you breastfeed past the age of one here in America, you are looked at as odd, even though the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until the age of two. I think our society has forgotten that breastfeeding is the natural thing to do. We are so used to bottles now. All baby dolls come with bottles. Formula samples are given out in the hospitals. There's all this talk about how bottles allow the dad and other family members to be involved. That may be true, but breastfeeding is still best and there are other ways to be involved.

There are articles and books that speak of the benefits for the mom and baby. I think these articles and doctors word it wrong. Instead of talking about the benefits of breastfeeding, they should speak of the risks of not breastfeeding. They won't though, because they don't want to offend women who have chosen not to breastfeed. I know it is politically correct to not offend anymore, and I try not to on my blog, but I feel very strongly about this. I think every woman should try exclusively breastfeed for at least a month. Why a month? Because the first month can be SO hard as you and your baby are learning to do this together. It can hurt, you feel like feeding is all you do, etc, etc. After a month, it usually gets better. It starts being the most beautiful and peaceful part of your day. I recommend demanding to see a lactation specialist in the hospital if you need help (I kept asking, and never got to meet with one), and reading The Nursing Mother's Companion and this article.

Attachment Parenting



My friend Kimberly had mentioned the name Dr. Sears to me before, so I decided to check out a couple of his books from the library. One of the books was The Attachment Parenting Book. Attachment parenting is the parenting model I have chosen to follow. It just makes sense to me. If you don't read the book, at least look at this overview on Dr. Sears' website. We co-sleep a good portion of the time, and it works for us. I especially like his 5th and 6th B's. I don't believe a baby knows how to manipulate, at least not so far at Brayden's age. I believe a baby's cry means something and that I need to respond and help. Part of the co-sleeping is that I don't believe in the cry-it-out method. I don't think you are successful in the right way using that method. Yes, your baby is asleep, but it's because he/she has given up.

What else?

Let's see... I never in a million years thought I would use cloth diapers. This article is a pretty good overview on why I switched. Although my main 3 reasons were: to save money, because I think it's better for the environment (it takes 500 years for each disposable diaper to decompose), and because I think they are cute. :)

I also never thought (before I got pregnant) that I would question the medical establishment. I like to think I did so during my birth just be having a natural birth (but failed afterwards in regards to breastfeeding and a couple other things I wish I wouldn't have allowed to happen). Sometimes I still fail at this. For example, at Brayden's 2 month visit, I got the seasonal flu vaccine just because Brayden couldn't until 6 months and his doctor thought that he could get some protection through my breast milk if I got it. A week or so ago, I was doing some research and trying to decide what to do about the H1N1 shot. In my research, I found out that neither vaccine has ever been safety-tested specifically on pregnant or nursing women. I'm currently reading The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears' son. I will most likely continue to have Brayden get these shots, but I may delay a few of them and at least want to be informed and not blindly following my doctor's lead.

Okay, all of this was pretty serious so....

I had no idea a year ago:

how much babies spit-up

and how much laundry moms have to do

and how much my parents must love me

and most importantly, how I feel like my heart might just burst each and every day with the love I feel for him.

Facebook + the Classics= ?

If you are a fan of classic lit and of facebook, you have to get your hands on this gem of a book. It's called Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs On To Facebook and it's by Sarah Schmelling.

I don't claim to have read all of the classics she writes about, but it sure was a hilarious read for the ones I have read. For example, she writes what she thinks Jane Austen's facebook profile may look like. One part of the news feed is "Jane Austen created the group That's Nice You Made a Whole Movie About It, But I Hardly Knew Tom Lefroy." Now, I LOVE the movie Becoming Jane, but I also realize the whole love affair between her and Tom is likely fictional. James McAvoy was still worth it though. Anyways...

The Scarlet Letter is given a news feed, and it reads "Hester received Punishment Flair."

Holden Caulfield (from Catcher in the Rye) has a profile, and one of his status updates reads "Holden Caulfield thinks only morons write status updates."

Those are just a few of the ones I liked. It was an etertaining read, to say the least.

I know this seems to be turning into a baby blog, but sometimes I just can't help it! My little man is 100 days old today. In the last 100 days, I have felt so much love, worry, happiness, fatigue, and gratitude. In short, it's been the best 100 days of my life.

I'm not sure if I mentioned The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins before, but you MUST read it! The second book in the trilogy came out last month, and I finally got it on hold at the library. It's called Catching Fire and it is just as good! I cannot wait for the third book. This trilogy has adventure, romance, and good old subversiveness (I know that's not technically a word, but that's how I see it, so I'm using it).

I've done pretty well on the cooking new things. In the past few weeks I have made:
-tilapa (pre-seasoned, but it was still the first time I have ever cooked fish and I actually liked it)
-Chicken Curry Soup (Harry and David mix, but I loved it and want to try it homemade)
-Asian Peanut Butter Pork
-Baba Ghanoush(Middle Eastern dip that is to die for- I may even like it more than hummus, even though it is a lot messier to make)

This last week on tv has been awesome! I loved watching Pam and Jim's wedding on The Office, the Glee mashups were great, and Jason Bateman confirmed on Ellen that there is going to be an Arrested Development movie. Now they just need to make a Friends movie. Well, and a Veronica Mars movie so that Veronica would end up with Logan like she was supposed to. I know I seem obsessed with tv, but in my defense, I read a lot too. Besides, I'm doing better. The only shows I am currently watching faithfully are The Office, Glee and The Biggest Loser. Although I have heard good things about Modern Family and Community and might give one or both of them a shot.

I know it's long, and I know Keith Olbermann is known for being pretty liberal, but his argument for health care reform is pretty amazing.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

3 months

Dear Brayden,

Today you are 3 months old. I have a hard time believing you have only been in my life for a quarter of a year since you are now the center of my life. I love you so much and would do anything for you.

We had a great day. You fed for longer than usual this morning, and I simply relaxed and watched you and thought about how wonderful being your mom is. Sure, I am sleep-deprived, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love knowing that even though you are not in me anymore, I am still sustaining you. I love how happy you are in the morning. You have the goofiest smile sometimes, and I love it to pieces!

My favorite days of the week are Fridays and Sundays, simply because those are the days I don't have to leave you. Although I'm you love the extra attention you get from Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Nicki and your cousin Jackson when I am gone. You also love being in your swing, on your changing table, or taking a bath. You are really close to laughing- believe me, I am trying my hardest and making a fool out of myself to try to get it to happen! One day while I was at work, Daddy put you in the exersaucer and taught you how to spin one of the toys on it. Your look of concentration when you are trying to coordinate your movements to get your hand to spin the toy reminds me what a miracle life is. Just learning to do that is a big deal!

I took this picture of you yesterday, on October 1st. I am so excited for the next few months! I know you won't remember this holiday season, but this is a big thing for our little family. You'll get to meet one more aunt and uncle that you haven't gotten to meet yet, and I'm sure you will be right in the center of all of our celebrations. Your dad and I love you more than you will know until you become a parent yourself (you know, at least 25 years from now).

Love,
Mommy

Mount Nebo Loop

It Sucked and Then I Cried

I just finished It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong of the popular website dooce. As far as memoirs go, I really enjoyed it. It did do both of the things that most memoirs do that bug me- she over exaggerated a lot of things and at times contradicted herself. But like I said, the majority of memoirs do, so I just deal with it. She is a hilarious writer, and her experiences in parenting are interesting and heart-warming. Here are some quotes I just loved:

"You LOVE the changing table. You love it more than the swing or the bouncy seat, and sometimes you love it more than being held by me or your father and we promise not to hold that against you, at least not until you come home with piercings in your face and then I WILL TOTALLY HOLD IT AGAINST YOU." (I loved this quote because it's the same way with Brayden)

"There were transcendental moments when I'd look at her and she'd look at me and there were traces of recognition and THE WORLD STOOD STILL I LOVED HER SO MUCH."

"Just when I think my love for you couldn't be any bigger, I wake up and discover that I love you even more, and I worry that my body isn't big enough to hold this much love. I worry that my insides may explode because there isn't any more room. I am drunk on my love for you, a sloppy drunk who can't see straight or speak in coherent sentences, a drunk who giggles every time you fart."

I would recommend this wholeheartedly to moms, especially real moms. She is a great writer, and can make even the hard aspects of parenting seem funny.

Horrible picture with a cute smiling baby



In other news, I made crockpot brown sugar chicken yesterday. It was okay. The sauce is too sweet, but if you don't scoop up additional sauce it tastes better. The experience did tech me something though. Thigh meat actually is really tender and I liked it. I never gave it a chance because I don't like working with skin and bones and didn't know you could get it without. I know... I'm still learning about what tastes good because I wouldn't give much a chance.

Random story... Adam was at work tonight so I was home alone with the baby. I was flipping channels and America's Most Wanted came on. I immediately changed the channel. Back when I was like 14, I watched it one afternoon before I went to babysit. After the kids went to bed, I noticed there was a guy who possibly looked homeless at the bus stop (the house was a corner house with a bus stop right there). It was almost dark, and I knew the bus didn't run that late. I was so freaked out. Finally the neighbor across the street pulled up, went over to talk to the guy and apparently offered him a ride after telling him the bus was done for the night. You would think I was over it by now, but apprently not since I couldn't watch it by myself today.

Cuteness overload

I took pictures yesterday, but none of them were very good. I got some great ones today. I officially became the mom who puts their baby in funny hats just to get a cute picture...



Later on, Uncle David came over for a bit, and I got another great one.



At work today, I got to bottle-feed a cute little kitten! One of my co-workers is fostering a litter of kittens for the Humane Society until they are old enough to be adopted out. They are so adorable!

The Biggest Loser

I am a sucker for this show! Season 5 started right as I started Weight Watchers last January, and I have been hooked ever since. I realize that the show is unrealistic, but I still find it so inspiring. Especially at the beginning, before all the game play begins.

Last night's episode was a tear jerker. One woman on the show lost her husband, 5 year old daughter, and 2 1/2 week old son in a car accident. I bawled the first time she told her story and then again when she talked about death on the weigh-in scale. I've always known that losing a child is typically one of the worst things that could happen to someone, but now that I am a mom... I cannot even imagine. I also cried when another contestant collapsed and had to go to the hospital during the first challenge.

Jillian, one of the trainers on the show, has a workout dvd called The 30 Day Shred. Some people at my work have been doing it, so I went out and bought it. I did it last Thursday, and I was sore all weekend. The point of the dvd is to do it every day... but with my job being so physical (shelving books) it would make work too hard. My plan is to do it at least twice a week on the weekends until I get better at it. I really recommend it. I've never felt so sore after only a 20 minute workout!

Profile

And no, he's not smiling at one of us. For some reason, he found the evening news to be hilarious!

Pictures galore

Here is today's picture (September 13th). I got this onesie as a Father's Day present for Adam. If you can't tell, it says "I love Daddy." It's 3-6 months, so it hasn't fit him until now. If you are a fan of the tv show Friends, you will appreciate this story. Adam doesn't always smile naturally in photos. Well, he was smiling weird today and this last week I had watched the episode where Monica and Chandler get their engagement photos taken and Chandler also doesn't smile naturally. I was telling Adam about it, and it made him laugh and so he was finally smiling naturally so I could get a good picture!




We went to the Greek Festival this weekend with Andy and Jackson. Great food, although it was a bit overpriced. Brayden actually did really well in the carrier. It had been years since I had eaten cotton candy, so I got some for Jackson and I to share. Funniest moments: Jackson running under the ropes almost into the sanctuary of the Greek Orthodox church and then Adam's crazy driving (he definitely needed a navigator and was not always paying attention to lights).




Adam's dad was in town this weekend, so we went to visit him. Here's Brayden with Grandpa and Grandma Bishop. Thanks for the great dinner!

Cooking

Confession time: I have only cooked two real meals (like not from a box) since Brayden was born. The first was for the potluck we had after Brayden's blessing. I made a chicken stuffing casserole, and I had Adam's help. See, if Adam is around I always let him deal with the raw meat. I like to cook, but I hate that part of cooking (I also hate the cleaning up part, so he usually gets stuck with that too).

Anyways, I made the second meal yesterday. All by myself! Aren't you all so proud? I made a black bean and chicken casserole found at The Sisters' Cafe. I'm trying to really push myself to try new things and not be such a picky eater. I don't want Brayden to be picky, so I need to be more willing to try new things. I normally don't like beans, or green chiles, but I actually really liked this recipe.

Another goal I have (to help me accomplish the first one) is to try one new recipe a week at least for the rest of the year. I've started compiling a list tonight and I am really excited!

If any of you have recipes you love, send them my way. I'm especially interested in ones with black beans now that I know I like them. Also, if you know of any good recipe sites or blogs, send me the links please. I am doing Weight Watchers again, so they need to be reasonably healthy.

September 10th- Fussy right before bed... ironic choice of pajamas, right?




September 11th- Right before he woke up- he actually slept really well!




September 12th- Splashing and smiling in the bath

Blah day

That's how I would describe today... blah.

-I really didn't want to go to work today. Some days are harder than others I guess. It probably didn't help that I talked on the phone today while I was on the way to work to a friend who is a stay-at-home mom with a baby the same age as mine... just got kinda jealous. I have to keep reminding myself the good things coming from my working- insurance, Brayden having a close relationship with family, Brayden learning the value of work, etc. AT least I know from today's pictures that he had a good time.
-I got some family news that could end up being a big deal, but I need to wait and see what happens. But it's weird, let me tell you. It could end up being really cool, but how it ends up isn't in our hands, so we'll have to see.
-A conversation with someone who is a good friend left me feeling bad about myself. I'm sure she didn't mean to, but it did and now I'm trying to get over it. It's about smething I had already beat myself up over (emotionally), and I thought I had resolved my feelings about it, but they got stirred up again.

Enough with all the negative, here's my pictures from today. Brayden smiles a lot when you pump his legs (I hope you know what I mean- that's the only way I can think of to describe it). Anyways, I showed it to my parents and Nicki. I guess they did it while I was at work, and that's when they took these pictures.

Grandma (and Grandpa and Nicki too)

So, as a preface, Brayden was spoiled before he was ever born. He was spoiled from the moment my family knew he existed. We all bought stuff for him. This onesie is something my mom bought, obviously. If you can't read all of it, it says "My Grandma <3's Me." I know that both of our families love him, and I am so grateful for that.

I am especially grateful to my parents and to Nicki for tending him while Adam and I work. Even if I made enough to pay for daycare, I don't think I could leave Brayden with strangers. So thank you, Mom, Dad, and Nicki!

Labor Day

I was so happy to have a paid day off this week! We all enjoyed sleeping in together, and then we got a lot of cleaning done because Adam was home too. I am proud of the cleaning, but it wasn't my biggest accomplishment this weekend. Want to know what that was? I'm sure you're all dying to know....

I got sick of my hands being blistered from carrying the car seat. I was going to have my brother-in-law sew (he's awesome and knows how to do pretty much everything) a cover for the handle. But then we were at Walmart in the baby section and I noticed the cushiony type things they sell to go over the safety strap over the baby's shoulders... and I thought to myself, "Wouldn't that fit on the handle too?" Sure enough, it did. I gladly forked over $4, and hopefully my blisters will soon disappear!

Anyways, here is today's picture. Yes, it is yet another one showing off his huge, beautiful eyes (I know I brag about him too much, but I'm allowed to, right?). When people see him for the first time, they usually say one of two things: "He's such a big boy!" or "He's so bright-eyed!" I love his big eyes! It also shows the beginnings of his dimples because I caught him at the beginning of a smile.

Brainwashing

If what President Obama is going to tell America's school age children tomorrow is brainwashing, I am all for it. Although I would rather refer to it as a motivational speech about working hard, trying again after you fail, and being a productive member of society.

I think it's a great speech. Hopefully there are not that many parents who are seriously going to keep their kids home from school just because they don't like President Obama (great way to teach your kids to respect authority- not). Hopefully the kids that hear it will actually take some of it to heart and not just tune it out. Here are the parts I loved:

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide. Maybe you could be a good writer — maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper — but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor — maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine — but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a senator or a Supreme Court justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life — what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going on at home — that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying.

Here is my favorite quote:

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

What Republicans call brainwashing I apparently see as inspiration. Oh well.

September 6th

-My dad holding Brayden at the park

September 5th

I don't have very many pictures of me with Brayden, so I finally had Nicki take some tonight. Don't mind how I look, just pay attention to the cute baby!



I'm posting this picture because it's hilarious to me that one day my nine week old is sitting in thi, and the next day my four year old nephew decides it would be funny to sit in it... and he actually fit. He's a skinny kid and I like to call him "chicken legs" sometimes because of his cute and extremely skinny legs.

September 4th

I can't believe he's big enough to sit in the Bumbo seat and hold his head up! Crazy, I tell you! Next thing I know, he'll be off to college. :)

Quick note to self: NEVER brag about how Brayden's been going to bed at 8 every night without giving you any hassle-

1- He'll be irresistibly cute one night wanting to play, but not go to bed until 10.
2- The next night, he will finally drift off at 8:30, but only with you standing over him in the crib holding his hand to reassure him.

Not that I mind either scenario...he likes to keep me off guard and I don't mind. I just need to remember not to brag about anything sleep-related. I'll just jinx myself.

Health Care

This video was made by the talented young adult author John Green and explains our options in a way that is easy to understand.


I saw this video on The Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC.


And here's a link to a funny one, thanks to my brother-in-law John.


Very simply put, I (like many Americans) think we NEED health care reform. At the very least, no one should ever have to declare medical bankruptcy. No one paying for insurance should be denied due to "pre-existing conditions." People should be able to get affordable coverage that is not through their employers (simply because people change jobs a lot more than they used to). In an ideal situation, I think there should be a public option. Or at the very least, there should be non-profit insurance programs.

And just so no one assumes I want a public option because I don't have insurance, or that I have crappy insurance... I work for the county so I have government benefits. They are pretty amazing benefits. The total costs of my prenatal care and Brayden's birth were about $8,000. For those of you who have not had a kid, this is actually pretty low because I used a midwife instead of an OB, did not have to pay for an anesthesiologist and epidural, and had no complications. My total out of pocket for all of this was about $500, so less than 10%. Government benefits rock and I wish everyone had access to benefits like this.

P.S. I'm also annoyed about the whole "controversy over President Obama's upcoming speech to school children, but Kerri and Stephanie both express it a lot better than I could.

September 3rd

Brayden... of course

I know I'm a day late, but I decided today to take a picture of Brayden every day in September. And luckily for me, I took some of him yesterday so I'm actually just posting it late.

September 1st


September 2nd


Brayden is 2 months old today! I still cannot believe how fast time has gone. My friend warned me the first 12 weeks are the hardest, and that is most likely true... but it is getting easier and easier every day. I'm used to sleep deprivation, we've mastered nursing and I've mostly mastered pumping, and I'm getting returns for all my hard work in the form of smiles and coos. It reminds me of a quote I read soon after we brought him home that gave me hope for this phase. It said something to the effect that in the first month or so, you are working for a boss who only complains and doesn't reward.

His checkup was today. In the pictures you can see his bandaids from his immunizations. He got 3 shots, an oral vaccine, and I got a flu shot since he can't have one yet. That was so sad to watch, but there was another issue with his circumcision. Just reaffirms my belief that it is a weird custom and it shouldn't need to be done. Yeah, I know there are some hygiene issues, but I still wish it wasn't so prevalent in our society.

His stats are as follows:

14 lbs 8 oz- This puts him above the charts. Although, in his defense...he was big at birth. In fact, I think the way they do the weight charts is messed up anyways. For the first year, they should just measure (for percentiles) how much they have gained since birth. Because babies on either extreme (small at birth or big at birth) are likely to stay there until things start evening out when they become more mobile.

24 inches long- This is 95% percentile. I guess he has grown quite a bit lengthwise, because he was 19 inches long at birth, which I thought was on the short side.

17 cm head circumference- I think it's in cm anyways...not exactly sure. Anyways, this is off the charts too. It makes sense he has a big head since I had to get an episiotomy.

Missed chances

I am so sad I missed the chance to capture a memory tonight, so I figure if I write about it I can at least remember it. Now, Brayden has always seemed to like the bath, but tonight he made it obvious. He was smiling a lot, but not only that...he splashed and kicked around for the first time! It was so cute and funny, especially when he splashed water in his face and it really shocked him.

What is sad is that just last night my friend Amberlynn told me to take as much video as I could...she has a toddler and said she was already forgetting some of the infant stuff. Adam was at work, so I couldn't videotape it! I've learned my lesson- I'm making sure it is charged and keeping it around to try to catch some of these sweet moments! And when I get some, I can hopefully share them here.

Things that must go/stay

I hate most morning radio shows... except for X96's Radio From Hell show. Whenever I am in the car while they are on, I usually listen to it. They do a segment called Things That Must Go, and I wanted to make my own, because a few things are bugging me.

Things That Must Go
1- This Enfamil RestFull formula -If you choose to use formula, that is fine. I know many moms rely on it for a myriad of different reasons, and I am glad formula exists for that reason (even though I still believe breastfeeding is definitely best). However, this just pisses me off! Babies are not meant to sleep the whole night right away. Their sleep cycles are different from ours for a reason. I think using this would just be for lazy parenting. I personally could never use this, even if I did use formula. I am so freaked out about SIDS and sleep apnea that even when he is asleep, I can't sleep well.

2- Gov. Herbert- I never appreciated how lucky I was, as a more left-leaning person, to have Gov. Huntsman. While he was Republican, he was able to "cross-over" on a lot of issues, such as gay rights and global warming. Well, Gov. Herbert is definitely your typical liberal. He thinks protecting gays from discrimination would be wrong. Okay, I get that some people still think being gay is a choice rather than a biological thing. However, we protect from discrimination against religion, which is definitely a choice. (And if you want an idea of how cruel some people can be, read some of the comments from that link). About global warming, Herbert apparently questions Huntsman's (and most scientists) belief that humans are part of the cause of global warming. You know what, Republicans? Even if global warming is a cyclical thing not caused by us, what is wrong with treating the Earth a little better for the sake of future generations?!

3- 3OH!3's song Don't Trust Me- Maybe it's dumb of me to let a song affect me- however, I seem to hear it a lot flipping through the radio channels because one of our presets is more of a hip-hop station (Adam's choice). The chorus has lyrics that go something like this: "Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips." I get so frustrated that a song that is so derogatory is still so popular.

Now, I don't want to just be negative, so...

Things That Must Stay
1- Glamour magazine- Last week, I saw a segment on the Today show about this story in the magazine and the positive response it has elicited. I went out and bought the magazine in order to read the article, which was amazing. It was all about having confidence and not talking or thinking negatively about your body. The issue also has an article about a new book called
Half the Sky, which argues that "helping women is the single surest way to change the world." It sounds like a good book, and I applaud a fashion magazine for having stuff like this within its pages.

2- Knowonder! magazine- When I went back to work this week, I discovered this little gem. It's a free magazine (if you can pick it up at a SL county library or other SL area locations) with a story for kids for every day of the month and also includes artwork and games. After you read all the stories, you go online and vote for your favorites and the top three make some money, which I think is great.

3- Baby swings- Seriously! Brayden will not sleep in his crib during the day... we have tried. He will however sleep in our arms, or in his swing. During the week when Adam is at work and I need to clean, I am so thankful he'll sleep in it. And it makes watching him a lot easier for whoever watches him while I am at work (thanks Mom, Dad, and Nicki!).

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Working at the library and reading as much as I do means I usually catch a book before it becomes really popular. Well, I totally missed the boat on this one. I noticed last year that it seemed to be popular, but I made no effort to see what it was about. I think the old-fashioned title threw me off. I kept hearing about it from people, and reading about it online, so I finally gave it a chance. And I am so glad I did!

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is one my favorite books I have read this year. If I had to use one word to describe it, I would say it is charming.

Juliet Ashton is a famous writer who is searching for her next topic to write about after World War II. Due to a common love of the author Charles Lamb, she comes into correspondence with a man who lives in the Channel Islands. She learns of the German Occupation there, and that a group of people who put together a literary society, first as a way to get out of trouble with the Germans. It ended up being a way to cope with the Occupation and what followed.

The book is written in letters, which I really liked. I know some people don't like that though. I don't always, but it fit the tone of this book well. It's somewhat hard to keep track of the secondary characters, and in the end I didn't even bother. It's okay, because you really get a feel for the main characters. As I mentioned before, I know I am late to the game with this one... but if any of my friends who like to read haven't given it a chance, do.

Julie and Julia

I enjoyed this movie. When I first heard about it becoming a movie, I wasn't interested in seeing it. A friend at work had tried reading the book it was based on and did not like it at all. She said that Julie Powell was arrogant and self-serving.

But then I heard who was in it. Amy Adams and Meryl Streep. I really enjoy their work. And then I saw the trailer and it actually looked like a cute, fun movie.

For the most part, it was. I love that it was also based on Julia Child's book about her time in France. If it had only been about Julie Powell's project, I would not have liked it. Because her character is a bit selfish. You can tell she adores the attention she receives from her blog. At the same time, all bloggers probably do. She even mentions that anyone with a blog is me, me, me all the time.

The movie scenes based on Julia Child's life were wonderful, seriously wonderful. The whole movie could have been a biopic of her life, and I would have liked it even more. Meryl Streep did an amazing job (Amy Adams definitely pulled her weight as well). I loved learning about Julia's relationship with her husband, and his full support of her endeavors.

I love movies about people "finding themselves," or finding their passion in life. Whenever I see a movie, or read a book with that premise, I usually leave feeling inspired if it is done right, and Julie and Julia was done right.

Great movie all in all. And I'll leave you with the same warning my friend Stephanie gave to me. Plan on being hungry when it's over! Luckily, Kimberly and I had thought about that and decided to grab a bite to eat afterwards.

Eight

8 things I'm looking forward to:
-seeing Julia and Julia with Kimberly and both our babes tomorrow
-going to the Farmer's Market with Karen this weekend
-getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight
-Autumn (love the weather, the colors, etc.)
-seeing how the book I am reading ends
-Halloween
-having tomorrow and Wednesday off
-going to bed

8 things I did yesterday:
-read part of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
-cleaned
-cried while thinking about going back to work
-enjoyed a yummy WW friendly lunch of steak (small portions) and veggies
-tried tilapia (sp?) and portabella mushrooms for the first time
-laundry
-went to a Unitarian church (mostly just to do something different since we had no church)
-loved my hubby and my baby

8 things I wish I could do:
-play the guitar
-run a marathon (not a very good runner, but I hope to at last run a half someday)
-move out of Utah someday, at least for a few years
-keep my house cleaner
-be a sub at the library instead of a regular so I can be home even more with Brayden (but I can't, we need the insurance)
-speak a foreign language
-go sky-diving
-get a tattoo (I'm only semi-serious...don't know if I would ever go through with it)

8 TV shows I watch:
-The Office
-The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
-The Biggest Loser
-Gossip Girl
-Scrubs
-reruns of Friends, Arrested Development, Gilmore Girls, etc)

8 things I collect:
-Willow Tree Figurines (although I have enough now and don't really want many more)
-baby clothes
-books
-blogs in my Google Reader
-recipes
-pictures
-purses
-magnets

What are 8 things you are excited about?
-seeing Brayden as he grows up, seeing the person he becomes
-growing old with Adam
-eventually getting a Master's degree
-future family vacations
-the idea that I will never run out of good books to read
-enjoying all the baby milestones and firsts of Brayden's
-fitting into all the clothes I bought last year again
-seeing Where the Wild Things Are and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Seven weeks

I cannot believe seven weeks has gone by... seven weeks and three days to be exact. Time has been on my mind a lot this weekend, for various reasons.

The most pressing thing is that I go back to work tomorrow. Now, I like my job...don't get me wrong. In fact, I really like it. And I trust the people who are going to watch Brayden (Adam, my parents and my sister). I know he'll be in good hands. But it's hard to believe that I will be away from him for 20 hours a week (plus driving back and forth). He seems to have done okay the few times I have left him, but he is definitely a momma's boy when I am around, so I hope he does okay. This picture kinda shows what a momma's boy he is. Adam is holding him at the restaurant table, and when I started talking, he kept trying to turn his head to see me.


The second thing is how big he is getting! He is doing so good on holding his head up, and on using his leg muscles to support some of his weight. Truthfully, I mostly mean about his weight though. He's in about the 95th percentile. I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as he was big at birth. And I know he'll lose some of the baby fat once he is more mobile. It's sad, though- I have already had to put away some 0-3 months clothes. He's not even 2 months! And he's in size 2 diapers! He weighs about 13 lbs, even more if my method of weighing myself and then me holding him is accurate. Here's a picture of him today. I put him in an outfit I really like on him. He hadn't worn it in awhile though because we have so many clothes for him. The onesie and the shorts are both 0-3 months. The onesie was a little tight both lengthwise and widthwise. The shorts are obviously tight widthwise, as evidenced by his "muffin top."

The other two things have to do with money. We had to buy diapers this weekend. Until now, we haven't had to buy any. We've used what the hospital sent home with us, and what our WONDERFUL family and friends gave us. I capitalize that because until yesterdy, I had no idea diapers were so freaking expensive! What's funny is that if he had been smaller we would have made it at least another two weeks without having to buy any, but we were not able to use all of the newborn diapers from the hospital and from my friend Kimberly. (I don't have a picture to go with the diapers, but here's one of him in his car seat. I like to say that sometimes in the car, he becomes a "zen Buddha." It fits, okay?! First, he's a chubster, like Buddha. Second, the way his legs and little hands are reminds me of someone meditating.)


The other thing related to money is that I start Weight Watchers again this last week. When you become pregnant, you are kind of put on hold, but if you join back before your baby is 8 weeks, you don't have to pay the registration fee again. It's weird to get back into tracking and looking at the nutritional info more closely. I kind of let it all go during pregnancy and gained way too much (as anyone who saw me in the last month of it could attest to). It's weird though. I get 10 extra points because I am breastfeeding, so I don't even feel like I am dieting or anything. Except for the fact that I won't be having fast food anymore, except for the occasional Chick-Fil-A. Which reminds me- let it be known that I have not had even the smallest bit of chocolate for over two weeks now! On August 5th, he was extremely fussy. I was just about at my wit's end. Well, the culprit was mostly likely chocolate, because I had had a lot of it on both the 4th and the 5th. So I decided to give it up for now. I might start having some again when he is on solids. Apparently at that point, their stomachs can handle some of the stuff they couldn't before, so moms can start having the "forbidden food" again. But for now, I'm doing it for his sake, for my waist's sake, and just to know that I have the willpower to do it. I never thought I could go even a week without chocolate. Usually I had some everyday, even if it was just a small amount. Anyways, enough with my rambling. I'll just leave you with one last picture, if you've gotten this far! It's not a great picture, but it shows his huge smile!

I don't know why it is showing it sideways, sorry you have to turn your head to really see it well!

Finally

posting his newborn pictures only three weeks later. He was two and a half weeks old when these were taken. We got them done at Target, and the ladies there were amazing. He had a blowout diaper while one of them was holding him, and she didn't care. They also didn't mind leaving the studio for me to nurse him in the middle of the session because he was getting fussy. Anyways, here are the pictures. They scanned a little weird with lightness in the corner of most of the pictures (they are not that way IRL).

This one is my favorite because I see it as his newborn look, his "what in the world is going on in this new crazy place?" look. I love it! He's just about 6 weeks now, and he hardly makes this face now.

My 2nd favorite

This one is Adam's favorite.

This one is Adam's favorite.

So...

Yeah, I haven't been posting much. Haven't had too much to say. I'm just enjoying my time at home with Brayden while I have it. I am starting to get out more with him though, which has been nice. I am currently pre-occupied with two things (other than the baby of course):

-When I am home, there is a good chance the tv show Friends is on. I own the first two seasons, so I started with those and I'm now on season 4 thanks to the library. It's a little weird to re-watch it now. I forgot how good it was! It was weird to start on the first season where Ross mentions his age (26). I'm 26, but for some reason they still feel older than me on the show. I'm sure that's because I was so much younger when I watched it the first time, and because I know the actors from the show are in their 40s. I really enjoyed watching all of the stuff that had to do with Ben and his birth.... and of course I have enjoyed watching Ross and Rachel. I also have noticed foreshadowing for Monica and Chandler that I never noticed before. Anyways, enough about a tv show.

-The second thing I am pre-occuiped with is breastfeeding. I know this is a touchy subject for some, but I feel like I need to get some of my feelings out. Luckily, I have found an outlet. The Utah Breastfeeding Coalition is having events all month long down at the Main library. I have only been to one so far, but it was great. To put my opinion plainly, I believe that women have the right to choose not to breastfeed, and that is fine, but I firmly believe that society has almost made breastfeeding seem unnatural and that is just wrong. I have many more opinions on the subject, but I don't want to offend anyone or step on any toes, so I will leave it at that.

And to end on a happy note, here is the most recent pic of my little babe taking a nap with his daddy so I can be on the computer: